All in One Piece, But No Peace…
It’s hard to know where to start, because I still feel a little emotionally strung, and when I’m emotionally strung, I tend to rant inconsistently. But hey, it’s my blog and I’ve got a right to rant, right?
It was about 12.30am on Monday night, and I’d been in the kitchen for 4 hours as it’s the only location in the house where the internet has acceptable connection. My eyes were beginning to droop, and I reminded myself, “Hey, you’ve gotta be at work before 1pm to test new students”. So I shut down the laptop, switched off the kitchen light and got ready for bed.
It was while I was self-reflecting aloud that I was disturbed mid-sentence by an orchestra of crash, bangs and wallops coming from the kitchen. At first I stayed very still to listen for any movements or further disturbances – you never know what could happen in such circumstances – then I besought God for protection from any harm, clenched my fist and fumbled my way around my room to locate the light switch.
The silence was deadly aside from the soft hum of the refrigerator coming from the kitchen. I flicked on the corridor light and stood in the kitchen doorway. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until I tried to switch on the light.
No power. Hmm… the corridor light was still on, so it definitely wasn’t a power-cut. But when I looked up at the ceiling there was only a hole from which a wire precariously dangled and a dusty residue of where the huge fluorescent light unit was only a few minutes ago!
My reaction? Praising God in fits of tears and prostration.
What more could I do? I had sat under that unit only moments before for 4 hours, and it was God who had decided that I was not to be harmed nor was it time to return to Him.
I cannot describe how the feeling of loneliness that I’ve been repressing magnified in this instance; being so far away from loved ones and not having a network of friends here is something I’ve been battling with patience and prayer, but at that very moment, I could’ve easily gone to the airport and attempted to board the first flight back to the UK.
I may be a drama queen and all, but it was simply too overwhelming and I was an emotional wreck – couldn’t string a sentence together or stop the Nile from running down my cheeks.
I refused (and still refuse) to stay in the flat, and I’m currently staying with a work colleague, but this saga is far from over, and may not be for a while. I’ve made it quite clear to my landlord that as much as ‘it happens’ in Egypt (which, frankly, I do not believe!), this Londoner will not be taken for a fool, and will not be moving back in, as lovely as the flat may be.
I need inner-peace, and fear of a ceiling caving in, no matter how well it’s been patched up, will remain if I stay there. I need inner-peace.
– The Londoner